Elaborating on distractions: Durian by Alex Himmelbaum

"Durian is a fruit native to a few regions of southeast Asia. It is large (between 1 and 16 kilograms), green and covered in hard needle-sharp spikes. Though more people fall victim to being crushed by falling Jackfruit, death by falling Durian would be much more gruesome and bloody. The large kidney-shaped fruit pods found inside are fleshy and absolutely delicious...if you like the combination of delicate sweetish, oniony flavor, with an alcoholic tinge and a texture like Camembert. Due to the high sulfur content in this unique and wonderful fruit, it gives off an odor reminiscent of fermented farts and creatively mouldering garbage. Like conjuring essence of burnt donkey sphincter. To those of us that appreciate the glory that is Durian, there is practically nothing as delicious. Make sure to get a perfectly ripe one as under-ripe Durian is as foul tasting as it is offensive to the smell."